First Time
by misslincolngrimes
Summary: Peeta and Katniss have to deal with Peetas meltdowns and they need each other to get through it. They both do things they wish they didn't and they need to learn to forgive and trust each other.
1. Chapter 1

The First Time

This was the first night Peeta has slept the whole night since the Quart Quell. The air coming for the window is ice cold and the sound outside is sad and quiet. District twelve has never been the same since this war broke out and ended. Not a day goes by that I don't miss Prim, not a day goes by that I don't have a nightmare about her. I can't sleep most nights because these thoughts run through my head. Peetas arms were tight around my body to make sure he doesn't lose me again. I run my fingers through his hair to sooth him while he sleeps. Every day Peetas melt downs get a little worse, but some days he doesn't have them at all . He sometimes hits me but I know it's not my Peeta that does it; it's his flashback that makes him. He tries so hard to control himself.

The sun finally peeking through the window, I slithered out of Peetas arms and down stairs to find Haymitch passed out at our kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey in his hand. I open the fridge to find a skinned squirrel I pull it out and set it in the pan. I took out another pan went back to the fridge and got out some eggs. When they were done cooking I laid a plate in front of Haymitch and nudged him till he woke up. He groaned and went back to sleep. I carried up a plate to still sleeping Peeta, I set the plate down. I kissed his forehead, I pushed the hair out of his eyes when he awoke. He pushed me back hard, I hit my head against the wall I felt the hot blood starting to drip down the back of my head. He jumped up from the bed

"Katniss, I'm sorry! I had no control." He wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm sorry." He pushed my head into his chest. He looked at his hand which was full of her blood.

"Oh God Katniss I'm so sorry!" She started to cry from the pain.

He let go of her and ran to the bathroom he came back with a damp towel, Neosporin, and an ace bandage.

"I'm so sorry Katapiller." That's what his nickname is for Katniss.

It always made her smile. He picked her up and laid her ever so gently on the bed and kissed her forehead. He made her rest in bed for the whole day, he made her soup and her favorite kind of bread with cheese in the middle, every other hour he would go get some more snow from outside to ice her cut. When she woke up the next day he was sleeping in the chair next to the bed, his fingers intertwined with hers. His eye's shot open when she tried to pull her hand away from his.

"Morning." She smiled at him.

"Morning, beautiful." His voice was horsed.

He got up from the chair and took off her bandages, "The bleeding stopped and it looks fine.

How do you feel?" he sounded very concerned.

"I feel better now." He kissed her forehead.

"I love you." He said for the first time. "I love you too." She said for the first time as well. He softly peck a kiss on her lips, he moved down to her neck and sucked giving her a light hicky. She moved over on the bed so he could cuddle, they were nose to nose.

"Katniss, lets have a baby." He begged.

"Peeta." She began to say, but he knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Katniss the games are over. We are free now." He put his hand on her face.

"Peeta… I'm afraid. I'm scared. I can't be a mom, I don't think I can. I'm sorry." He could see he was bringing tears to her eyes so he said "We'll, talk about this another time." and wiped away a little tear that fell from her eye.

"I need to go to the bakery this morning, do you want to come?" she kissed his lips and nodded her head. She got on pants, her boots, a long sleeve black shirt and her father's leather jacket. Peeta wore a short sleeve shirt and pants because he says "The cold doesn't bother him." The walked down to the bakery is sad the bones of people they knew lay there unburied because of them. Katniss gets sick every time she thinks about this, she tucks her face into Peetas shirt so she doesn't have to see it, but Peeta is strong enough to bare it. When we got to the bakery and open the door a burst of cold air brushed on them as they walk in. There's a lot of bad memories here for Peeta, he walked over to the counter and stood still. He gripped the sides, that's how I knew he was having another melt down. I ran over to his side and he scream "Get away!" but she wouldn't. She won't let him to be alone during this. She wrapped her arms around him and whispered "I love you." Over and over again and he slowly came back to her. He collapsed to the floor in her hands, his head in her lap and her hands clenched to his.

"Promise me, you'll _always_ be with me." His back was arched from the flashback of the pain.

"_Always_, I love you." She whispered

"Real?" he asked.

"Real." She answered.

He had tears in his eye's from the horrid flashback, she feels so guilty that she can't do anything to keep them from coming back. He decided that it was a good idea to come back another day. They got home and dressed down to their underwear and cuddled up in bed together, she was kissing his neck when she mumbled "I'm ready."

His eyes shot open. "Are you sure?" he questioned.

She nodded her head, he got on top of her, she wrapped her leg around him. His hard rubbing against her sex made her wet. He licked his fingers and rubbed her clit through her underwear. This was their first time, they have ever had sex before. She started to moan as her hips bucked in ever direction. He stopped rubbing her clit to take off his boxers, so she took off her bra. He laid soft kisses between her breast and all the way down to her belly button. He slipped his fingers in the waist band of her panties and pulled them off. He put her legs over his shoulders and started to lick her clit. He slid his tongue all over her folds, when he slid his tongue in her entrance he hummed "You taste so good." She was moaning so loud that she barely heard him. "I'm going to put two fingers in to loosen you up." It hurt her at first but then she started like it so he rapidly slid his fingers in and out of her while licking her clit. She reached her climax and came all over his fingers he lapped her up with his tongue and then sucked his fingers. He came up and kiss her slipping his tongue in my mouth, she could taste herself on him. He stuck his tip in her entrance and then slid all the way in she screamed in his mouth because he was so huge. He took it out and apologized. "It's going to hurt at first." He slid it back in her and she screamed again. After a while she started to moan in pleasure, so he thrusted harder. "Your so tight." He moaned out. "You feel so good." She moaned out after. He rested his head in her shoulder and chocked out "I love you's." She reached her climax again and came all over him, moments later he too.

He pulled out of her and laid breathless next to her. He pulled the blankets over their bodys and kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his stomach and nuzzled her head in his chest and whispered ever so softly "I love you." She quickly fell asleep.

When she woke up the next morning Peeta was gone, "Peeta?" she softly yelled. She got up from the bed and put on a shirt and panties. "Peeta?" she yelled again, then she heard a big thud downstairs. She bolted out of the bedroom and down the stairs to see Peeta having a melt down on the floor. She knelt down next to him and he pushed her back. She got back up and fought his arms down, and whispered "It's going to be okay." She tried so hard to stay tough for Peeta. After minutes he finally calmed down

"Katapiller…. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He said looking up at the ceiling.

"You're not hurting me." She lied.

"I think I need to stay with Effie and Haymitch for a while."

She let go of his arms and leaned against the wall. "No we're fine." She said.

"Katapiller I love you." He got up and walked upstairs. She furiously followed after him.

"So that's it you're just going to get up and go."

"I'm just going next door. Kat it's not like I'm going a district away."

"Can I come see you?" she wiped a tear away from her eye.

"Of course you can." He hugged her briefly and then continued packing.

Before he walked out the door he said "I love you."

"Real?" she asked

"Real." He half smiled and she watching him walk away.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been a week since she's seen Peeta, every time she goes to see him he's out.

Haymitch tells her "He's at the bakery."

and Effie says "He's been hanging out with Delly.

"Has he been getting better?" she put a worried face on.

"He's been wonderful." Effie told her.

After sitting for two minutes her patience got the best of her, she bolt out the door and walked towards the bakery. When she got to the door she heard Peeta grunting she thought he might be having another meltdown, so she ran in and screamed his name "Peeta!" But then she saw them. She saw what she had wished she had never seen. Peeta fucking Delly on the bakery table. Her mouth dropped to the floor shocked, she didn't know if she should yell or cry so she ran. She ran to the woods. Peeta pulled up his pants and ran after her. She finally stopped running when she got the lake that her father took her to. She stripped down till she was butt naked and walked into the lake. Peeta trying to catch his breath and showed up moments later.

"Katniss! I'm sorry!" he pleaded.

He took off his cloths and got in the water with her. Even though he can't swim he could stand in the water where she was he wrapped his arms around her and she cried in his neck. After minutes she finally stopped crying and pushed Peeta off of her. "Please leave me alone for a few days." She couldn't look him in the eye. She just looked down at the water. She put her cloths back on and so did Peeta. He walked a few steps behind her until she got home, she stopped and turned around. "I'm pregnant Peeta…. but I don't think I'm going to keep it." She turned back and walked into the house, that's when Peeta had the biggest melt down anyone has ever seen. Katniss ran in the house and locked the door behind her. Peeta kicked and kicked till the door broke in half, Katniss was standing there dumbfounded. "Peeta please don't hurt me." She begged. He threw her to the ground and she screamed. His knee jabbed the spot her baby was growing his hands wrung around her neck and her choked her. Her face got beat red, his knee killed the baby inside her and broke a piece of her hip. Haymitch came running in and threw Peeta off of her. Katniss's blood was all over her pants. Her neck already starting to bruise. She was having trouble breathing before she passed out.

She woke up in her bed, her mother stroking her hair. She closed her eyes once more before really waking up. "I have you on painkillers, your left hip is broken and.." she sniffed. "You lost the baby." Her mother broke out in tears. Katniss hasn't seen her mom since Prim died. She ran out of them room and that's when Katniss realized Gale sitting in the chair next to her.

"Hey Catnip."

She was so stund at seeing him no words could come out of her mouth.

"Where's Peeta?" she had a raspy voice from screaming.

"Peeta's locked up in Haymitch's house." Gale murmured.

"I want to see him." She said.

"You can't." Gale told her.

"Why?" her lip quivered.

"He might lose control again."

She shook her head "Please Gale. Please."

"How could you want to see him again after that?" he questioned her.

"Why would I want to talk to you after you killed my sister?" she snapped back.

He bit his lips and shook his head. "You can't walk yet Catnip, I'm sorry you can't see him." She started to move around and feeling the pain again. "Mom." She cried out. Her mother came in the room with a pain killer knowing that she was going to need it.

Six weeks… Six weeks it took for her hip to heal. She can finally see Peeta, Gale kept trying to convince her not to see him that she should wait. When they walked up the stairs Effie opened the door. "Hey Kat." She was wearing one of her ridiculous outfits again. "Hey Effie." She took Katniss's hand and held it tight as she lead her to Peeta's room. "He's been asking to see you since that day." She whispered in Katniss's ear. Katniss started to get teary eye'd. Her heart started to pound against her chest and all she could hear is her heart beating. They got to his door and she took at deep breathe in, she opened the door and he was lying there in with his hands strapped down to the bed like how they were when she first saw him in district thirteen. He started to cry when he saw how beat up she was. She had bruises around her neck and walked with a limp.

"I'm sorry Katniss."

He went to cover his face with his hands but the straps kept them down. She walked over to the side of his bed and wiped the tears off his face.

"I missed you." Was all she could say.

"I love you katapiller." He said softly.

"I love you too." She said back.

She started to take off the straps and Gale said "Catnip, I don't think that's a good idea." "Gale please give up some space." She scowled at him and left the room. She continued took off the straps that held his hands down, and hugged him, but he would hug her. "I wasn't going to get rid of the baby. That baby was our baby and I would love it even if we weren't together." He stared at the spot the baby use to be in, and chocked out more tears. She was trying so hard to keep from crying. She chocked back her tears and smiled for him.

"How can you smile at me after what I did to you?" Peeta can't look her in the eye, better yet look at what he did her.

"I think it would be better if you just get over me." He kept looking down at his hands.

"That's what you want? Do you love someone else Peeta? You fuck Delly and now you want to leave me?"

"Katniss, I never want you to get over me but I'm thinking for you. I'm thinking about what will be best for you."

She interrupted "Don't. You're what's best for me."

She slide down the wall and tucked her head in between her knee's.

"I'm sorry Katapiller." He mumbled.

"Please don't call me that." She frowned.

They sat in silence before she really knew that this was it. She had to get over Peeta, but she promised herself to never love another man. That Peeta and her have gone through so much to care about anyone else. Before she opened the door to leave she turned back and a tear fell from her eye. "I love you.. boy with the bread." She left and hugged onto Gale and cried into his chest. Gale picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him and he carried her towards her house. When he started to walk up the steps she stopped him. "Gale can we go to the woods?" He carried her up the stairs and walked out to let her get dressed. She put on her hunting boots and her father's leather jacket. She went to the bathroom to rebraid her hair, she saw in the mirror how beat up she looked. She touched her bruises on her neck flinching from the raw area. As much as she wanted to hate Peeta she couldn't. She fixed her braid and filler her hands with water and splashed it on her face to refresh herself. She stared at herself a little longer trying to collect her thoughts. She walked down the stairs and Gale was looking at the picture of Peeta and Katniss together in the Capitol rooms the night before the Quart Quell. She thought about how happy they were before President Snow took that all away from her.

"Ready?" she said clearing her throat.

When she got to the woods she ran to the tree she hid her old bow and arrows in, she touched the feather end of the arrow and shot it in the eye of a squirrel.

"You still got it Catnip." Gale played with her.

She dropped her bow and pushed Gale into the tree.

"Why did you leave me?" she weakly said.

"I needed you. I needed you and you left." She said angrily

She grabbed on to the front of his shirt and she pushed him more into the tree.

"I hate you." She swung to hit him across the face but he picked her up threw her over his shoulder.

"Gale put me down." She wiggled on his shoulder.

"Are you going to hit me?" he questioned.

"If you don't put me down I will." She scolded

He put her down and stared at her. "Your beautiful."

She knew he was lying her hair was now in a knot and her eye's still puffy from crying. He pulled her in his arms and lean down to kiss her forehead. She couldn't decide if she wanted him to stop or to continue. She tilted her head back and he kissed her neck. He whispered into her neck "I love you." _His kisses aren't the same as peeta's _she thinks to herself.

"I want you." He says licking her neck.

She doesn't respond she just lets him take control. His hand rubs her clit through her pants, she moans into his ear. She moves his hand and gets on her knees in front of him and unbuckled his pants. She put her hand in his pants and his length was smaller then Peetas. She chuckled a little at the thought. She pulled his length out and licked the tip. He moan and his hand gripped the tree. She put his length in her mouth licking around the tip and then out pushing it back into the back of her throat. He put his other hand in her hair hand pushed her head up and down his hardened cock. "Fuck." He mumbled. He reached his climax and semen squirted down her throat. She swallowed and licked her lips. Gale fixed himself up and told her "Your so fucking good at that."

It's been two months since Katniss has seen Peeta, She's been having a lot more nightmare's even though Gale is there to comfort her. He tries to wake her up in the middle of the night but can't because she's so deep in the terror. She misses Peeta, she thinks about his arms and how they hold her perfectly. His warm soft lips putting soft kisses all over her body. She's walks to the bakery to get bread but mostly hoping Peeta will be there. When she opened the door she notices that he installed a bell to ring to tell him when a costumers here.

"I'll be right with you." He yelled from the back room.

She wandered over to where there was a fresh batch of her favorite cheese buns. She popped one in her mouth and the cheese melted on her tongue, she moaned at the taste. He came out and he looked so good, he looked more fit and muscular, his hair scuffed up. He brought out a cake and sat it down before he notice it was Katniss.

"Hi Peeta." She smiled.

"Hi Katapiller." He looked shocked.

"Are you here for some cheese buns?" he asked.

"Um." She paused.

"Katapiller. I miss you so much." Peeta jumped in.

He walked out in front of the counter and got down on one knee in front of her. He pulled out the pearl that he gave her in the Quarter Quell that was now on a gold banned.

"Katapiller take me back and Marry Me." He held out the ring.

She couldn't think straight so she stood there stuttering she finally chock out words.

"No… We still have a lot to work out Peeta."

"I want to be with you Katniss." He pleaded

She got down on her knee's with him

"You are with me." She pulled him into a hug.

She melted in his arms, the warm heat coming off his body made her never want to let go of him. How she missed the way he felt against her, the way she felt when she was around him. He pulled her away slightly and put a kiss on her forehead. She put her hand on his cheek and they were staring at each other. His eye's looked different. They looked tired and sad. She put her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear. "I love you." He put his arms around her and rubbed his hands up and down her back "I love you too." They stayed like that for minuets just taking each other in.

"I missed you." He hugged her even more tightening his grip on her.

They stood up and he put the ring on her finger even though she said no. He walked behind the counter and put her cheese buns in a bag and handed it to her.

"Can I come over tonight?" Peeta asked shyly.

She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and smiled. "Yes."

When she got home Gale was sitting at the kitchen table impatiently waiting.

"Where have you been?" Gale tapped his fingers on the table.

"I…I..I was at the bakery." She stuttered.

"Was Peeta there?" Gale jumped in.

"Yes.."

Gale noticed to ring on her finger.

"Did you guys do anything?" Gale questioned.

"No?" she played with her hair.

He got up and slide out of the chair and kicked it behind him the big bang made Katniss flinch.

"Katniss your lying to me." Gale came closer to her and shoved her to the wall. He put his hand into a fist and hit the spot next to her head.

"Don't lie to me Katniss." He clenched his jaw.

"Gale I'm not. I promise." She whispered.

He lifted up her shirt and he threw her to the ground.

"Gale stop." She begged.

"Katniss take me in your mouth." He sat on top of her.

"Gale stop!" she tried to push him off of her but he was too heavy for her.

He took a knife out from his pocket and cut her shirt off. "Gale please." He took pieces of her shirt and tied her hands to the legs of the couch; he then cut off her bra reviling her chest. He started to cut her pants, He pulled her panties off and started to unbuckle his pants. She started to scream and kick.

"Help!" she pleaded "Help!"

He stopped undoing his pants and put his hand on her mouth, scream and I'll kill Peeta. She started to cry, she didn't want it to be like this. She's only had sex once and that was with Peeta. She only wanted Peeta. He removed his hand and stood up to take off his pants once he was down to his boxers he laid on top of her and opened her legs, and rubbed his cock against her wetness.

"Your so wet Katniss." He moaned.

"Gale please." She chocked through tears.

Then all of the sudden someone punched Gale and he was knocked out. Peeta untied her from the couch, he took off his shirt to cover her body. He hugged her and whispered in her hair "I'm sorry." She didn't know why he was apologizing but she didn't care she just wanted to be in the comfort of Peetas arms. She put her head in his neck and he lifted her onto his lap. They just sat there holding onto each other as Gale laid in an awkward position knocked unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**When Peeta let go of her Gale was starting to move, Peeta jumped up and sat on him repeatedly punching him. Katniss was screaming for Peeta to stop.**

**"Peeta your going to kill him." **

**She went to grabbed his arm and his arm hit her throwing her back. She ran to get Haymitch, and he ran out the door. Haymitch grabbed Peeta by the shirt and threw him back. Katniss came running in and saw Gale's face was all bloody. Peeta was agianst the wall with his head hanging low his fist covered in Gales blood.**

**Haymitch picked up Gale and laid him on the table. Effie came running in and freaked out about the bloody smell filling the house.**

**"Katniss you****'****ll need to call your mom we need a doctor." Haymitch was shaking. **

**Katniss started to freak out when she got to the phone and had to redial the number eight times because she was shaking too much. Her mother told Katniss that she couldn't be out there till tomorrow, so Katniss had to take matter into her own hands. She got a wet rag and she gently cleaned Gales face till you could she the fresh cuts and bruises. There was blood pouring from his forehead, she applied pressure on that spot to help stop the bleeding. She ran to the bathroom and got out butterfly stiches, she went and applied to butterfly stiches and it was still bleeding so she took gauze to apply pressure****.**** Peeta was still sitting against the wall shaking his head at Katniss for taking care of Gale. She walked over and sat down next to him****,**** she took the wet rag and cleaned the dried blood off of his knuckles. **

"**Why are you helping him?" Peeta snarled **

"**Peeta stop." She shyly said. **

"**No, I don't get how you can forgive him." He snapped.**

**She stood up and said "The same way I still didn't forgive you for banging Delly." **

**She walked away and Peeta followed, she walked into the bathroom and locked herself in there. He knocked on the door. "Katniss. I never wanted to hurt you." **

"**You should of thought about that before you fucked Delly****,**** Peeta!" she yelled through the door. She put down the toilet seat and sat down on it tucking her head in her knee's. "Katniss let me in and let****'****s talk about this."**

"**No, because every time you seduce me and it's not fare!" she tried to say in an angry way. **

"**Katniss****,**** I'm sorry!"**

"**Peeta****,**** I just need a minute." **

**When she came out she walked down the stairs and saw Peeta sitting against the wall again but his drooped down****,**** he was sleeping. Katniss walked over to gale and changed the gauze and put on a new one. Haymitch and Effie were asleep on the couch so Katniss slid down the wall next to Peeta and put her head on his shoulder and she fell asleep. **

**When she woke up she was in her bed and Peeta was cuddled up next to her. She got out of the bed and made her way down the stairs to see her mom taking care of Gale. He was moaning in pain, Katniss felt joy in him being hurt. To taste his own medicine. She could punch him in the face if she didn't feel so bad for him.**

"**Morning sweetie, I made you some tea." Her mother pointed towards the pot on the stove. She got out a cup and pour some tea in it. She blew on it to cool it down and then she took a sip. Gale whispered something to her mother. Gale gave Katniss a sad face so Katniss rolled her eyes and went back up stairs. She put her cup down and started her bath she walked out and into the hallway too get a towel when****,**** she went back to the bedroom Peeta wasn't in the bed any more. She opened that bathroom door and Peeta standing there butt naked. She put the towel on the sink and he walked over to her. He put his hands in he waist band and pulled off her panties and shorts. He licked her leg when he was standing back up, she lifted up her arms and he took off her shirt. She turned around and he unhooked her bra, they slowly slid off her arms. She got in first and Peeta laid in between her legs, she ran her fingers through his hair as they just sat there in silence letting their bodys relax in the warm bathtub. His back keeping her chest warm and his head laying back on her shoulder. They stayed like that for over an hour just comforting each other not caring for the moment. **

**When they got out the cold air hit them she grabbed the towel and noticed she grabbed only one. She pulled him into a hug and the towel wrapped around both of them. They walked to the bed and they cuddled up close to each other. **

"**Does this mean you forgive me Katapiller?"**

"**Nope. Not even close."**

**She played with the pearl ring on her finger. She rolled onto her side and wrapped her left leg to his she ran her fingers through his chest hair and rested her head on his arm. Their eyes locked together, she noticed his eyes were happy and in the moment he smiled at her. She leaned into the kiss and they passionately putting soft kisses on each other's lips. He pulled her on top of him and her legs squeezed his sides. She rolled her hips on top of him and he moaned. She leaned down and kissed him hard, that's when the door swung open and Katniss's mother walked in. "Oh my… I'm so sorry." Her mother shielded her eyes with her hands. Katniss jumped off of Peeta still under the covers****.**

"**Katniss I need to talk to you." Her mother gave an attitude and stood there. **

"**Can you get out!" she yelled at her. **

**Her mother stormed out and Katniss went to the bathroom to get her cloths. Peeta stood naked at the door. **

"**Katniss you shouldn't yell at her.****"**

"**Well she should of knocked****.****"**

**He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. **

"**Calm down Katniss." **

**She took a deep breath in and put her arms around him. **

"**Sorry, I don't know what got into me." **

**He kissed her forehead and then slid on her shorts, Peeta climbed back into bed. She opened the door and saw her mother standing in the hallway waiting for her. Katniss closed the door behind her. **

"**Gale is going to needs to come back to district two with me and I need to do some serious medical work on him… and I think you should come with us."**

**Katniss's mother paused once more. "I don't think Peeta is a good thing for you Katniss." **

"**Mom. You don't even know him."**

"**Katniss you could live with me and Gale. Katniss there's nothing left in District twelve." **

"**My home is in District twelve I'm not going to leave it nor am I going to leave Peeta." **

"**Okay…Just walk with me to get some more medical supplies from Haymitchs house." Her mother smiled.**

**Katniss felt like her mother was up to something but she couldn't figure it out. When they got to haymitchs house the place was dark. Her mother bolted in and ran up the stairs. Katniss tried to keep up with her but when she got up stairs her mother was gone. She heard Peeta screaming from next door, so she ran out of the house and into her's. When she got up the stairs Gale was hovering over Peeta stabbing him continuously in the stomach. When Gale saw Katniss standing there he ran out of the room. She started to scream.**

"**Peeta! No please****…**** Peeta stay awake."**

**She got on the bed next to him and place his head on her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and cried.**

"**You're going to be okay." **

**Peeta was fighting to keep his eye's open and fighting to catch his breathe. **

"**I love you." He choked out some blood while saying it.**

"**I love you too." **

**A tear fell from Peetas eye's before catching his last breathe. Katniss wanted to scream but nothing came out. **

**That's when she really woke up and realized that all of it was just a dream.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

She woke up Gale who was sleeping next to her, he rubbed his eye's and smiled.

"What did we do yesterday?" She couldn't remember what was real and what wasn't.

"We went hunting and you gave me a blowjob by the tree."

She ran out of the house in her skimpy pajamas and ran to the bakery. She walked into the bakery and she didn't see Peeta she check the back room and ran up the stairs to the little apartment above. He was sleeping on the bed curled up in a ball. She laid behind him and wrap her arms around him. She fell asleep smelling that smell she loved most cinnamon and dill. She woke up from the touch of Peeta tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hey beautiful."

They were laid facing each other

"What are you doing here?" Peeta question

"I had a nightmare."

He moved in closer to Katniss to comfort her.

"What happened?"

She didn't say anything she just snuggled up in to his chest.

She closed her eyes tight, and put a kiss on his neck and he let go of her.

"Katniss it still isn't safe for you to be around me."

"You think I don't know that?" She huffed.

Katniss sat up.

"Im still mad at you."

Peeta gave her a look.

"How could you cheat on me?" She frowned

"Katniss I'm so sorry!"

"Why? Why would you do it?"

"Katniss.. " he dropped his head in shame

"Katapiller.."

He started to say before she jumped in.

"Please, I want to know why you cheated on me."

"Im sorry." He claimed

"Peeta please.."

His eyes looked watery he couldn't bare to look her in the eye.

"I missed you. I missed the way you felt, the way you kissed my neck. Your soft olive skin against mine. I wanted to feel that again. I wanted to feel the love again."

"And did you feel that with Delly?" Katniss murmured

"No." He looked her in the eye and repeated himself.

"No. Katniss I felt nothing I felt empty and guilty. Then you walked in and the look on your face killed me. That's why I ran after you. I love you and I never wanted to hurt you." She got up from the bed and looked out the window, crossing her arms trying to let what he said absorb into her.

"Katniss I love you."

"Peeta how do I know that if we ever get in a fight again that you won't go and hook up with another girl?"

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck, she pushed him away and shook her head. He frowned and tried to kiss her again. She pushed him back, He started to have a melt down. He collapsed to the ground and seized on the floor she put his head on her lap and he back arched as if he was in pain. He started to scream mutt at her and then he finally calmed back down.

"You tried to kill me real or not real?" he said staring blankly at the wall.

"Not real." She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

She helped him back up and he laid back in the bed.

"Katniss stay with me tonight." He begged.

"Okay, but I need to go home and get some things."

Peeta gave Katniss a questioning look.

"Why?"

She didn't want to tell Peeta that Gale was at the house because then he'll start to question her and ask if they did anything. She knows that she cheated on Peeta with Gale and if Peeta found out he would have another major meltdown. So she stood there dumbfound thinking of something to say.

"I wanted to take a shower because I'm dirty."

He smiled and bite his lip trying not to laugh at her.

"You could just take one here." He pointed towards the bathroom.

She walked into the bathroom and saw he had remodeled it, instead of his old tin bathtub he put in a marble tub and a glass shower. The wood creaked under her feet she stripped down and started the shower. She waited till the water got just right before going in. She took out her braid and let the warm water run over her exhausted body. She grabbed the soap bar and washed herself, then she felt Peetas hand slide up her soapy back. She turned around and he hugged her, his friend brushing against her lower back. She pushed him back a little.

"Come on Katniss you have to forgive me." Peeta cried out.

"I will forgive you just not right now."

"Katniss please." He pulled her back in

She felt completely turned on so she pushed her hips into him more and kiss his lips. They walked backwards under the shower head and let the water drip off of them. He put his hands on her breast and slide his tounge in her mouth. They wiggled them together and he slide another hand to her clit. She was moaning and bucking her hips on him, she breathed in to his neck "Fuck me Peeta." Peeta picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. He held her against the glass, He thrusted into her and she cried out. She wrapped her fingers in his blonde locks, his cock sliding in and out of her made her legs numb. He turned around so he was against the wall he slide down and cradled her in his lap. She bounced on top of him, she then laid back and he climbed on top of her and he thrusted. The water dripping off his jaw, his perfect jaw, the way he looked at her with so much love. "I love you." She choked out. "I love you too." He moaned. She reached her climax and came all over his cock, he moaned louder "You feel so good." He then reached his climax and pulled out, he cummed on the shower floor and laid down next to her. They let the water from the shower splash over them for a while before getting out. They laid down on the bed and cuddled up next to each other. The door swung out and Gale came crashing in.

"Katniss?" Gale shook his head.

She sat up "Gale it's not what it looks like."

"What's going on?" Peeta said suspiciously.

"Would you like to tell him or shall I?" Gale smirked.

"Gale stop!" Peeta looked at her with sad eyes. "No, tell me."

"I..I..I um." Gale jumped in "She hooked up with me."

She looked at Peeta and he was mad "So, you let me hate myself when you were doing the same thing behind me back. Gale laughed and walked out the door, so Peeta stood up and slid on his boxers. "Stop Peeta. We were so happy in there a second ago please don't let that go." He roughly threw one of his shirts at her to put on.

Its been a week since Peeta found out, he won't talk to her look at her or touch her. She helps him out around the bakery by cleaning, and taking out the garbage. She tries so hard to get his forgiveness but he just needs time. She sat down across from him at one of the bakery tables and blurted out "Peeta… I think we should get away from here. Do you remember the beach that we saw in district four?" he stayed silent but looked her in the eye. "Well I think we should spend time together and work this out…. We both were wrong, we both cheated." He just nodded his head and got up from the table and she followed. "So will you do it?" she asked.

He finally spoke to her "Yes." He turned his head to say and then walked up the stairs. She followed moments later when she got to the bedroom he was already packing. She walked to the cloths cabinets and pulled out a shirt . She stripped off her shirt dirty shirt and caught Peeta staring, she put on the new shirt and smiled at him. He just looked down and continued packing. She slowly dropped her smile and got out a bag to pack her cloths in.

The woke up and waited for the train Peeta grabbed her bags because it was to heavy. Haymitch and Effie are coming just in case something goes wrong. After an hour of waiting the electric train came.

When they got to District Four they went to one of the hotel condo's that Katniss and Peeta stayed in one night on the victory tour. They didn't talk at first "Do you want to go down to the beach?" Peeta asked. She nodded and the walked out of the hotel room he grabbed her hand and as the got in the elevator. When they got down to the beach they took off their shoes and put their feet in the sand. Peeta sighed in enjoyment because the sand felt as if it was massaging his feet. She sat down in the sand and wiggled her toes and so did Peeta. She put her head against his shoulder and they watch the bright yellow sun slowly go down. She got in between his legs and rested her back against his chest, he kissed the top of her head and they intertwined their fingers together. The sky turned a pretty pink and purple. The sounds of the ocean waves crashing soothed both of them.

"I wish we could just stay like this forever. I wish we could be this happy all the time." Peeta said.

"I'm only happy when I'm with you." He let out a tear that fell in her hair.

"I love you Peeta."

"I love you Katniss."

They walked back to their room hand in hand. When they got to the room they laid down and cuddled up next to each other.

The next morning they walked back down to the beach Peeta stripped down to his boxers and katniss stripped down to her panties and bra. He took her hand and the walked into the walked the waves were rough, so he picked her up and carried her out to the calmer part of the water. He held her close, his fingers lingered all over her body under the salty water

As they got to shore it was starting to get dark out, and when they got to their cloths Peeta reach in his pocket pants and got something out.

"Katniss.." he paused.

"Yes."

"All I want is you.. all I need is you. Katniss will you marry me." He pulled out the pearl that was on a wedding band.

She smiled "Yes." She nodded

He slid the ring on her finger got up from his knee and kissed her. She jumped on him and knocked him to the ground, they continued to kiss. The sky went pitch black and Peeta rolled on top of her, he put his fingers in the waist band of her underwear and slid them off her soft legs. He put soft kisses up her leg and then near her sex. She got butterflies in her stomach, she was craving his touch. His hot breath so close to her sex.. He was teasing her trying to make her beg for his tongue. "Peeta." She moaned out. He stopped. "Yes Katniss." He smirked in between her leg. "Please Peeta." Her nails clawed the sand. "Please what." He said in a seductive tone. "Please." She moaned. He didn't he just leaned up and kissed her on the lips. "Not here Katapillar. She huffed and put back on her underwear. She grabbed her shoes and walk further up away from Peeta, she was mad that he wouldn't give her pleasure, she was mad that he lead her on like that. Peeta just smirked and shook his head behind her. When she got in the elevator she tried to hit the button so the door would close fast but Peeta slide in. He cornered her in the elevator and wrapped his arms around her.

"Katniss you get so pissed so easily." He whispered in her ear.

The elevator door's opened "For good reasons." She ran out of the elevator.

Peeta ran after her and got ahead of her she got side to side by him and tripped him but he grabbed her and took her down with him. They rolled on the floor till Peeta was on top, he held himself up on top of her and kissed her forehead.

"Oh joy you guys are back." Haymitch said sitting at the dining room table.

Peeta and Katniss both laughed, Peeta got off of her and stood up. He helped Katniss up and she noticed she was in her underwear so she hid behind Peeta and they walked to their bedroom. They got in the shower and washed off, they cuddled up. When Peeta woke up the next morning and Katniss was gone and the pearl ring was on her pillow. He walked out to the dining room where Effie and Haymitch were sitting, with the pearl ring clenched in his hand.

"Where's Katniss?"

"She left this morning to go visit her mom." Haymitch said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**It's been a month since Peeta has seen Katniss, Peeta went to visit Katniss's mother but she told him that ****"****Katniss never came.****"**** When Peeta went back to District twelve he was hoping she would be home but she wasn't. For the first few weeks Peeta wouldn't get out of bed, Effie would have to come take care of him until he finally thought he was going to get back on the usual routine. Peeta would pick primroses from this field in the forest for Katniss if she ever came back. Week after week he would take the primroses down to the lake and one by one he would drop them in the lake and watch them drift away. Peeta tries to hold back his tears and stay strong because he knows Katniss will come back. One morning Peeta was baking her favorite cheese buns, when he sat it on the counter he looked up and saw her standing there. She looked so pretty, her was hair down and she looked as if she was glowing. She had the biggest smile on her face.**

**"Hi Peeta." **

**Peeta started to have a melt down and a bad one. He came running towards her and wrapped his hand around her neck choking her. Her feet wasn't touching the ground, her face was turning purple. She was able to scream one thing "Johanna!"**

**Johanna came running in and pushed Peeta down. She sat on him holding his shoulders down till he was back to himself.**

**"Katniss you love me real or not real." he yelled at Katniss. **

**She kneeled down next to Peeta "I love you real Peeta." **

"**Then why did you leave me?"**

"**I was scared Peeta. I didn't know if I was ready to get married."**

"**You should of told me. I'd wait as long as I have too." **

**She crushed her lips to his and they kissed passionately. "Why did you say you were going to your mom's? Why didn't you just tell me you were going to be with Johanna?" **

"**Because I knew you would come for me****…**** I need time to think Peeta."**

**He sat up and rested against the wall Katniss slid in next to him and rest her head in his shoulder.**

"**I missed you." Katniss breathed out. **

**He just nodded his head, Johanna smile at us and then quickly looked away as if she was invading in the moment.**

**Peeta picked her up and placed her on his lap. They just sat sinking into each other, letting there beatings heart be the only thing they could hear. His head tucked into her neck, he just took long deep breathes in taking in her scent. He put a soft kiss on her neck and butterflies filled her stomach. His arms wrapped tight around her, they kept getting tighter and tighter until it hurt. "Peeta." She cried out. His arms squeezed tighter. "Peeta let go." She whispered. His nails started to dig into her side. "What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter what. That it can be good again, and only you can give me that." Katniss whispered. His nails slowly dug out of her side and his arms loosened. **

"**I love you Peeta."**

"**Katniss are you okay? Johanna asked. **

**Katniss got out of Peeta's arms stood up and fake smiled at Johanna and Peeta. "I'm fine I just need to go to the bathroom." Katniss ran to the upstairs bathroom and lifted up her shirt to see the marks from Peeta. There was an indention where his nail dug, it was starting to bruise on her olive skin. She wanted to break down but she has to stay strong for Peeta. Then he knocked on the bathroom door.  
"Katniss are you okay." **

**Her voice squeaked. "Yeah." **

**He turned the knob and came in, he pulled her into a hug, "I love you too." He whispered and then let go of her. "I want to show you something." He turned around and started walking down the stairs, Katniss followed. Katniss stop to begged Johanna no to follow. Peeta patiently waited for Katniss at the front door holding it open for her. Peeta gave her a quick smile as she exited the bakery. Peeta didn't speak, Katniss had an idea on to where Peeta was taking her but she wasn't quite sure. One they got to the fence he slipped in between the barb wire and so did Katniss. Katniss realized that it was her favorite season****,**** spring. When all the flowers are bloomed and the forest is colorful and bright. He held onto Katniss's hand and lead her down this path. The path had bushes full of flowers. Pink, purple, red, and yellow flowers every where you would turn. The smell of the flowers made Katniss feel happy and at home. He stopped in front of her and said "I'm going to cover your eye's so your going to have to trust me." **

"**I trust you."**

**His hands slid over her eye's and she pushed her forward until they finally stopped, It smelt beautiful where ever they were He removed his hands from in front of her eyes and it was a field full of primroses. The smell was so refreshing to Katniss but it also made her sad, she missed her sister she didn't notice how hard her grip was on Peetas hand until she looked down and saw his hand turning purple and her finger nails digging into his skin. She loosened her grip and Peeta started to walk into the field.**

**"I would come out here every day and pick a flower to have, just in case you came home I would have something to give you." **

**Katniss could tell that in the tone of his voice he was hurt****,**** she really hurt him. That's the last thing she ever wanted to do, but she keeps doing it over and over and she doesn't know how to help it. She just wants to be the way they were before the Quarter Quell, before snow changed him. There a part of Katniss that wishes Peeta was like Gale. Normal...**

**Peeta pulled her out into the middle of the field and laid down he sat up and pulled her by her hips and she fell forward. Her legs tight around his waist, she rested her head on his chest. She smelt that cinnamon and dill on his shirt, she loves that smell more than anything. For the first time it's like they can finally breathe nothing can hold them back but the unresolved issues they have to deal with. **

**Peeta rubbed her back making Katniss feel calm and relaxed. A cool breeze rushed in and Peeta got goosebumps on his arm.**

**The wind made a whistling noise in their ears it reminded Katniss of screaming, it started to bring back painful memories of the jabberjays sounding like Prim, her mother, and Gale. **

**Peeta started to think about that empty noise and how the only thing he lives for is for Katniss. He wants to start a family so badly, he knows that Katniss is the one, he's always known. He slid his hands under her shirt, he kissed the top of her head. **

**"I love you Katniss." **

**She lifted her head up from his chest and smiled. Katniss sat up, her hips hovering his friend, she lifted her arms up telling him to take off her shirt. He could see that she looked thinner than before her ribs were starting to poke out, Peeta began to wonder if she was starting to get depressed again. Once he got the shirt over her head she crossed her arms around her stomach as if she was ashamed of her body. **

**"You're beautiful." Peeta whispered**

**She smiled and stood up shimmying out of pants and panties. She unclipped her bra, Peeta got out of his cloths . He pulled her back on top of him, she slide her hand down between them and stroked his hardened cock. He moaned at the touch, she then straddled herself over his thick cock and he slid in her. She got that tingly feeling all over her body, she rolled her hips against him and he bit down on his lip trying not to moan loudly. **

**"Fuck Katniss your so wet." Peeta cried out **

**He rolled on top of her, she gasped for air over her loud moans, her finger nails clawing his back. She clawed so hard he started to bleed**

**Katniss cried out squirming underneath him as she reach her climax and came on him. He started to squirm his hips jolting in every direction. **

**"Katniss I'm going to come." **

**He came inside her.**

**The both of them out of breath **

**"I love you Katniss." He said still throbbing inside her. **

**"I love you Peeta." **

**He pulled out and rest down on top of her resting his head in her shoulder. **

**They got dressed and walked hand in hand to the victory circle as they passed Haymitchs house they saw Effie and Haymitch holding hands on the porch bench reading books. Effie looked up from her book once she heard the rocks skidding under their boots. "Katniss!" She jumped up and ran to her in exotic heels. Towards them and stopped at the porches steps "Katniss i need to talk to you." Her smile went to a frown, making Katniss nervous. **

**Effie pulled her into the house and slammed the door behind them.**

**"Do you like hurting Peeta?" **

**"Of course not!" Katniss hissed **

**"Let me finish! You can't leave Peeta like that. He only gets worse when you're gone. Haymitch had to stay with him at night because he would get so crazy. He loves you why can't you see that? Why can't you see that? He would die for you.. And you out of all people should know that." **

**Katniss started to think about how Peeta would have let her kill him to let her stay alive. To survive the hunger games, and how she didn't know if she would have done the same back then. But now it's different she knows that she would do anything for him. **

**She ran out to Peeta in tears. Peeta was leaning against the wooden post talking to Haymitch. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his neck **

**"I love you Peeta! I'll marry you. I love you so much and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything" **

**He just rubbed her back and smiled. **

**"You'll really marry me?"**

**She was silent**

**"You sure you want this." Peeta questioned. **

**"Yes. Yes I love you." **

**He hugged her tighter, he felt so happy and excited. **

**Weeks past, Katniss wanted a small wedding her mom, Johanna, Gale, Anne and her son Effie and Haymitch. She wanted to get married under the apple tree behind the bakery, where he saved her and her family by giving her bread. Peeta hasn't had any bad melt downs since Katniss wanted to get married. When he's having a meltdown she stops and grips onto the nearest thing until its over. Katniss's heart aches having to watch Peeta got through that alone and for her not to understand what he's going through. He doesn't like to talk about what he sees anymore. Flavius, Venia, and Octavia came to help her get ready for her big day. When they came over they sat down at the dining room table and Katniss made them tea. **

**"Katniss we have something to show you." Octavia said **

**She pulled out a leather covered sketch book and engraved on the cover was Cinna name.**

**Katniss's heart dropped she felt like she couldn't breathe she put her hand on her heart and sat down on the chair. Octavia pushed the book near Katniss, her heart began to race. **

"**He knew this day was going to come and he made us promise to wait to show you when it did.**

**Octavia flipped through the sketch until she reached the very last page, Katniss started to cry happy tears when she saw it.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The perfect dress. Nothing to fancy or to plain. It was kind of traditional yet new. The lace would cover a little of her shoulders, and a bubble shape form from the waist down. Cinna knew exactly what she wanted, but did she want it now? Was she ready...Her stomach turned as that familiar feeling of fear started to paralyze her. Her make up team stayed a little to talk about how excited they are about making her look like a bride they were more excited about this wedding then she was. They all left right before Peeta came home. She went upstairs and striped down and got into her pajamas, and before she knew it his warm arms wrapped around her waist and he put soft gentle kiss on her shoulder.

His scent of cinnamon and dill filled the air. "I missed you."

She smiled he only left two hours ago. "I missed you too."

He nuzzled his nose in her back taking in her flowery scent. "I need you." He whispers in her ear, She knows exactly what he means he needs relief and the only way he knows how to.

He starts to take off her shirt and he throws it across the room. She turns around and helps him take off his shirt. He hooks this thumbs in the waist bands of her panties and shorts and slides them down her olive skinned legs. He picks her up and lays her on her back on the bed and He pulls his pants down to his knees and pulls her to the edge of the bed. He spreads her legs open and slowly deliciously sinks into her. He slowly pulls out and slowly sinks in again repeating the torture over and over "Peeta. Faster. Please." She moans "No baby I need this." She can feel herself trying to reach her climax but her body not letting her. "Come on Katniss let go!" And with his plead she lets go, climaxing around him. He comes quickly after her, grunting in her chest. He pulls out of her and she winces feeling empty. He takes off his pants and shoes and gets on the bed and pulls Katniss up next to him and cuddles up with her, and before they know it they are both sleeping.

When she wakes up it's the first time in a long time that she wakes up happy.

Her head snug in his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist. She wants to stay there forever and never leave this at home feeling when she's in his arms. The more she sat there the more she thought. She doesn't want to get married but she loves Peeta so much that she is willing to do whatever makes him happy. She places soft kisses on his chest and his eyes shoot open, and he hits her kicks her off the bed and starts to scream.

"You mutt! You disgusting mutt!"

She touches her forehead and looks a her hand and her hot blood covers it. She jumps on top of him and hold his arms down till he comes back to her. He looked at her face and she had blood dripping from her forehead and marking of his hand imprinted on her cheek. Tears started to fall from her eyes. "Katniss I'm sorry!" She quickly got off of him and ran to the bathroom locking the door behind her. She quickly tied her hair up and grabbed a wash cloth she ran it under the cold water and began to clean the blood off her face. She could hear him repeatedly apologize before she heard his voice squeak. She put the band aid on the cut and opened the bathroom door. He is eyes were red and full of pain.

"Katniss I'm sorry." He frowns and backs away afraid that he is going to hurt her again. "Peeta." He won't look at her. He hates seeing how he hurts her.

"Peeta, Look at me." She places her fingers under his chin and tilts his head up so he us forced to look at her. "I'm perfectly fine." She puts her hands on either side of his face and kisses him.

"I don't like to see you get hurt, and I see what I do to you and I hate myself." He places his forehead against mine.

"I'm so tired of hurting you Katniss.. I just want you to know that I love you okay?" Her heart dropped.

"Why do I feel like your saying good bye?" She wraps her arms around his waist.

"I love you." He kisses her nose and hugs her tight.

For the rest of the day he took to the bakery to bake her, her favorite cheese buns. He then took her to the lake in the woods where he laid out a blanket that they could sit on and have a picnic, he's acting like this is his last day with her, so she sat on his lap straddling his hips. She crush her lips to his she slickly thrusted her tongue into his mouth and he started to move his tongue with hers, running his hands up and down her sides. She could feel his hard member grow harder beneath her so she rolled her hips on top of him. He started moan and buck his hips in time with her. "Katniss... I'm going to come." He moans as he kiss her neck. She stopped rolling her hip and he cried out "Katniss don't stop!"

"Don't leave me." She whispers near his ear. "I'm not." His voice sounded different. "Promise me." She started to roll her hips again. "I promise." He moaned. His hips stiffen against hers and he muffles his moan as he comes. He rest his head against her shoulders to catch his breath. "Fuck Katniss." He hums and takes a deep breath. "Maybe we should start to head back before it gets dark." She says helping him up. Peeta grabbed the picnic basket and Katniss carried the blanket. When they got home they were so exhausted they snuggled close together and then conked out. Katniss woke up startled when she her a big bang, she could see Peeta packing a bag and quickly. "Peeta?" She jolted from the bed and turned on the lamp on the nightstand. "Where are you going?"

"I'm never going to hurt you again. I have to go."

"Where are you going?"

"To be with Delly."

She fell to the floor tears spring to her eyes "You don't love me anymore?"

He looked at her like she was supposed to know something. "I don't." He says as tears fell from his cheeks. He zipped his bag and ran out of the room slamming the door behind him.


End file.
